Road Trip Tips for Couples From a REAL Traveling Couple

I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but Brian and I have taken A LOT of road trips over the years we’ve been together.

I can’t even begin to think about how many miles we’ve put in together, from traveling all over the United States as nomads to exploring the most charming parts of France.

As a result, we’ve learned a lot about what works and what doesn’t over the years that could help others who are planning road trips with their honey.

This guide digs into road trip tips for couples making the leap to hit the road, whether it’s for the first time or a return to long-distance travel after a long hiatus.

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Make sure you really like each other first.

I jumped right into travel with my now-husband on a complicated Peru trip. All kinds of things went wrong, but it was because of that trip that I knew we could handle whatever came our way.

A road trip would then be less dramatic for us.

You’re going to be spending a lot of time together, just the two of you, in a confined space. Even if you’re not doing the RV thing, you’re still going to be with your partner 24/7 while on your road trip.

Ideally, your relationship has been tested and you’ve spent enough time together that you know some of each other’s quirks. You should like spending time with each other.

I’m not talking about watching Netflix for six hours in a row and not speaking to one another. Maybe you’ve already done some weekend getaways or already live together. You just know that you enjoy spending time with this human.

You shouldn’t be planning a road trip together if you’re not sure whether you like a person is what I’m saying. This doesn’t need to be your test.

Plan a road trip that’s not crazy long.

If you’ve never been on a road trip with your partner, this is especially important.

You don’t need to plan a weeks-long trip across the country if you’re not quite sure how your partner will handle themselves in the situations I’m describing here.

A weekend away on your first road trip route is likely sufficient to get a handle on what you’re dealing with here.

You’ll also be closer to home in case things get really bad and you want to bail. I don’t wish that for you, but you don’t want to be a 26-hour drive away when you realize this person you’re sharing a small space with is a loser or worse.

Note: When I say “plan,” I really do mean “plan.” Your first road trip with a boyfriend isn’t the plan to go off the cuff and go with the flow. More on that below.

Choose a road trip route with some variety.

If you’re still getting to know one another, trip itineraries with variety will allow for some additional talking points, e.g. “Look at that giant thermometer over there. It’s so…BIG!”

Fun fact: The tallest one is in Baker, California, by the way.

Staring out at miles and miles of flat prairie can get quite monotonous. The thrill of the open road wears off quickly.

If you haven’t yet honed your couples’ road trip skills, you want to keep things exciting. Anything along the coasts is a great idea.

READ MORE: If that sounds intriguing already, check out my California road trip itinerary.

Share the driving.

Whatever you plan, consider the mileage between stops, particularly if one of you is doing most of the driving. A tired driver doesn’t make for a fun road trip buddy.

If it’s a short trip, I’ll admit that Brian does the bulk of the driving. He tends to enjoy it more, especially if we’re abroad.

On longer trips, unless it involves driving a manual, we share the driving responsibilities.

Depending on where you’re going, driving can be monotonous and tiring. Don’t expect your partner to handle it all unless they express how much they love driving in an explicit way.

You don’t want them exhausted upon arrival at your final destination. That won’t be fun for anyone.

Identify stops ahead of time.

I’m not talking about gas stations here, although it’s always good to know well ahead of time when you’ll be refueling next.

I’m talking about the things you’re excited about. Make a plan to make all of those things happen. Mark them on your map apps if you’re not as intense about it and have an itinerary printed out.

Consider whether the places you want to stop on your road trip have hours associated with them.

If you’re really interested in some burger place, that’s awesome. You just don’t want to arrive there at 8am. They’re likely not open yet, and even if they were, I’m not sure you want that in your belly with your new mate.

You may need to buy tickets in advance for attractions you’re interested in. Get those ahead of time, so that you’re not stuck in line or, worse yet, faced with a big sold-out sign once you get there.

Whatever can be planned ahead should be planned ahead of time, particularly if you’re in the early stages of your relationship. It’ll lead to fewer possible hiccups for you.

Make your priorities known.

The last thing you want is for your road trip to lead to resentment because you got to see all the stops you wantedbut your partner missed out their big some bucket list thing.

Conversely, you don’t want to be all cool in the planning process but wish you did one thing or another. This is a fun thing for you to do in your relationship, but it’s also likely your vacation.

READ MORE: I get into this quite a bit in my relationship guide-style ebook. If you want to get to know me REALLY well, you’ll want to take a look!

You want to use your budget and your time away from work in a way that you’re happy with, too.

If your partner is really all about checking out the best breweries along your route, plan a few stops that highlight those. It doesn’t need to be just about breweries if that’s not your scene, though.

If it is, sounds like compatibility is high there. Just make sure you’re sharing those designated driver duties.

Note: You also don’t need to feel bad about not sharing every single interest area with your partner. No couple I know has hobbies that are completely aligned.

Brian loves to golf, so we often plan an afternoon where he’s able to do that, particularly if we’re driving through some well-known courses. I like wine and cheese, often together, so we make sure to identify spots to consume both when we’re on the road.

I also don’t need to join him on his golf adventures. I ride along sometimes, but I’ve also hung back and explored whatever town we were in, or found a nook to catch up on the latest book I’m into.

Even on a road trip, it’s not a sign of trouble if you don’t spend every moment together.

Pack lots of snacks.

Your packing list should start with snacks.

I cannot tell you how many misunderstandings can be avoided on a road trip or really any trip just by keeping one another well-fed. Hanger is real, people.

You don’t need to pack an entire cooler of stuff, especially if you’re driving through a part of the world where food stops will be an important part of your itinerary. Some protein and some sweets are always on our list of road trip essentials.

It’s even more fun if you’re road-tripping abroad and have some international snacks to choose from while you’re driving.

Stay well-hydrated, too. It’s just generally a good thing to do for our health, but you’ll also force bathroom stops. It’s important to stretch those legs and get some air from time to time.

Craft a budget and stick to it.

If you’re not married, or even if you are and still keep separate finances — I’m not judging you! — you’ll need to figure out who’s paying for what. Maybe you’re splitting everything down the middle.

It all comes from the same place for us, so we just spread out the credit card purchases as best we can.

If we’re traveling in a group of people, we use Splitwise. That’s an easy way for couples to keep track of shared expenses, too. You want to avoid as much resentment as possible on a road trip.

Have those awkward conversations ahead of time so that it doesn’t blow up in your faces while you’re out on the road.

You’ll also make any budget expectations known if you’ve booked accommodations ahead of time, too. It’s hard to find good deals on bookings on the fly, especially if where you’re traveling to is fairly remote.

It’s even harder if you’re headed to popular destinations at high season, e.g. summer in the national parks.

It’s also important to talk about what your expectations are in terms of how much you’ll be spending on things like food stops or excursions along the way. Plan out your stops, even food places you want to try, so you know what you’re dealing with.

You shouldn’t be finding out that your partner’s only into fine dining when you’re already on the road.

Bring things along that will keep you busy.

Whether it’s the latest murder podcast or some easy road trip games, bring a few things along that will keep the both of you busy on a long ride.

When I’m talking about road trip games, I’m not saying you should expect the driver to make some moves on a Monopoly game board.

I’m thinking you play road trip games along the lines of 21 Questions or the Alphabet Game, where you take turns naming something letter by letter within a specific category.

I can’t read in the car if I want to avoid motion sickness, so we’re usually just listening to something we brought along.

Sometimes we even save things we know will be really good like a new album from an artist we both like for upcoming road trips. That’s just so we have something to occupy us on the road.

I usually curate a hot road trip playlist, too, which is usually a point of pride for me.

Fun fact: Brian doesn’t have the attention span to keep the thread of an audiobook so that’s not usually our jam, but I know plenty of people who are into that.

Make sure you agree on these things so you don’t bring an entire playlist of Pink songs and expect your partner to be into that for hours on end.

That’d be me. I don’t like Pink. Leave me alone about it.

Lean into that sweet silence.

I saw a tip on another post about staying off of your phones over the course of a road trip.

WHAT?!?

How am I going to let all my social media peeps know that I just had the largest corn dog in Nebraska?

Seriously, though, you don’t need to talk the ENTIRE time. It doesn’t mean you guys aren’t compatible. It means you’re so comfortable with each other that even your silence is comfortable.

I hate it when I see things about people “running out of things to talk about” as a signal that their relationship is doomed. I think filling space with small talk is a signal that you’re doomed.

OK, that’s a little harsh.

It could just mean that a high level of intimacy isn’t there yet. You know, the kind of intimacy where you can sit on your phones and not speak to each other for hours on end. That’s the life.

Also, if you’re talking over my murder podcast on that country road I might get a little murdery myself.

Sometimes you’re just awed into silence on your road trips by what’s happening outside your window. Those moments are awesome.

Have a plan for tackling arguments.

We’ve gone into how to make a road trip fun. Now let’s talk about when it’s not so fun. You’re going to get into it at some point. That’s inevitable.

You’re in a confined space and you’re likely tired. Maybe you forgot to snack every three to four hours and you’re hangry.

You might snap at your partner, or vice versa. Maybe you didn’t know giving your partner driving tips was a trigger.

Actually, that one’s a trigger for a lot of people. It’s best avoided.

It’ll be OK, I promise. Take a deep breath, and consider whether this argument is worth more breath.

Sometimes you need to be the bigger person and apologize for whatever’s going on.

It’s best if you understand your communication styles before the road trip. That includes your fighting style. I don’t care how perfect you think you are as a human being. Everybody fights.

Maybe one of you drops a hot dad joke on the argument to diffuse the tension. Maybe you both need to sit in silence for a few so you don’t say something dumb and make things worse.

Here’s another hot relationship tip: It’s OK to go to bed angry.

People who force conversations on partners who aren’t ready aren’t going to get anything good in return. Trust me.

Allow for some spontaneity.

It’s important to be flexible on any road trip. Things can — and likely will — go wrong while you’re on the road. You don’t have to have a Plan B for every possible scenario.

First of all, that’s impossible. I’ve tried.

Second, it doesn’t leave room for spontaneous spots along the way. You might drive past a vista that looks appealing for an impromptu picnic. Maybe there’s a unique rest stop just up there that you hadn’t planned for.

Don’t plan so aggressively that your road trip feels like a homework assignment. I need to remind myself of this one all the time.

Allow for some romance.

I’m not saying you need plan a hot air balloon ride at your destination. Start small.

You can be romantic on a road trip by surprising your partner with their favorite snacks or planning stops at scenic spots. Maybe you bring something along that will make the drive more comfortable for them.

Create a playlist of songs that will get your partner in the mood, or just make sure to make tunes on hand that you know they like. That’s pretty thoughtful, too.

My love language is the one about tasks, so anything that shows they’re invested in the planning of the whole deal is pretty romantic to me.

Ask questions.

If you’re worried about the awkward silence despite what I told you about that being perfectly fine, you can come prepared with some road trip questions.

Here are a few, free of charge:

• If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
• What’s your favorite memory from a past road trip?
• What kind of music or podcasts do you like to listen to in the car?
• What’s one thing you’re excited to see along the way?
• What’s your favorite road trip snack?
• What’s your favorite road trip memory from childhood?
• If we could take a spontaneous detour right now, where would you want to go?
• What’s your favorite part of being on the road?
• If you could only visit one destination for the rest of your life, where would you choose and why?
• What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do on a road trip but haven’t had the chance to yet?

Keep the lines of communication open. Ask your partner questions about their favorite things. For couples on road trips who have been together for a while, share childhood memories or plan future adventures.

Keep the atmosphere in the car light but engaging, especially if you’re the one driving.

Don’t put so much pressure on it.

It can be stressful planning a road trip with a new flame, especially if it’s your first one. Try not to let that get in the way of the potential for a very fun time on the road.

If things go wrong, that’s a story in itself. If they go VERY wrong to the point of questioning the relationship altogether, that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Maybe the road trip will serve as a reminder that you dodged a bullet once you’re done smarting over the loss. Maybe you won’t grieve that relationship at all.

Assuming things go well, though, it could be the start of something awesome. The best road trip is the one you come out of wanting another.

Road trips are great for relationships.

These road trip hacks for couples are only as good as the work you put into your relationship, honestly. That said, shared experiences can make any relationship stronger.

The adventures you’ll have and the time spent together can deepen your emotional connection and create lasting memories.

It can also reveal challenges in your relationship, especially if you don’t come with tools like patience and compromise. That’s still a good thing when it comes to the longevity of any relationship.

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