Traveling With Your Partner: Tips From a Real Couple!

There is a lot of nonsense out there telling couples how to travel from the outside perspective of observing what works and what doesn’t.

They may have gone on one trip with their college girlfriend and noted some things that went sideways but have embraced solo travel since.

That’s not expertise in the matter by any stretch of the imagination.

I’m not a solo traveler, but I don’t write about it, either. I’ve always loved travel, but Brian has been around for so long that most of the big adventures I’ve had have been together.

Traveling with your partner is usually a lot of fun. Sometimes it isn’t, but when travel fails or hanger or miscommunications hit, we’ve learned how to work through it.

We’ve gone nomadic for a few years and moved abroad with loads of adventures in between. We’re together most, if not all, of the time.

How do we do it while keeping our relationship intact? It’s been a work in progress, but I’m not going to gatekeep any of it.

Disclosure: Travel on the Reg uses affiliate links to keep things running around here. At no additional cost to you, I earn a lil’ commission if you make a purchase. Any income earned supports the upkeep of this site. I appreciate you!

Take a dry run.

If you’re planning a big trip abroad, take a quickie — by that I mean a quick trip — as a dry run for the big one. A weekend or even an overnight away will give you an idea of your partner’s travel style and whether you’re even compatible as travel partners.

There are no limits to how long you should date before you travel together. If you love traveling, you want to make sure that traveling together is something that can work.

Fun fact: While it was an abject failure, Brian and I took a terrible trip to Peru months into our relationship. My old friends became his new friends, and it all makes for good stories today.

Short trips for couples are a great way to see what’s important to your loved one when you’re out there exploring the world together. Are they all about the food, or prefer to spend most of the day relaxing? Can they hang with your frenetic travel style?

You don’t have to go to South America to figure that out.

Thankfully, Brian is usually up for whatever I have planned for us when we’re traveling, but he’s also completely content with having days to chill out and decompress.

If travel is important to you, it’s important you’re with someone who fits the kind of travel that fulfills you.

Communicate the big stuff.

Miscommunication is the death knell for even long-term relationships. The same applies to successful travel planning and any traveling couple.

If you’re new to traveling with your partner, make sure your communication is on point from the initial planning stages all the way to your arrival back home.

New couples will want to include a detailed discussion of something oldies may not agree with: money.

You’ll want to talk through your anticipated budget for upcoming travel. The key is to make sure there aren’t any surprises once you start booking airfare, hotel rooms, and any excursions at your chosen destination.

Note: Even if you’re in a long-term relationship, you want to make sure there’s transparency around the entire process. Honest communication around travel planning is responsible travel.

Your partner may be super forgiving, but why even put them in that situation if you know better?

Compromise is cool.

Travel together is a great way to get closer as a pair and learn more about one another.

It’s also a good way for you to become better at the art of compromise.

I’m a super planner. Does that mean I do most of the planning when we’re traveling? Usually. Does that mean I do all of the planning, especially when it comes to long-term travel? No.

There’s room in there for Brian’s golf adventures and pizza stops and whatever else brings Brian joy that I can’t think of at the moment.

It’s your trip just as much as it is your partner’s trip.

The best thing you can do is make sure that you know what each other’s priorities are before you head out into the great beyond. If there are some non-negotiables for you, share them.

If your partner’s not the best communicator, ask them what they really need to do, see, and eat while you’re traveling so that they’re not saucy about it afterward.

Plan ahead as best you can.

I’ll reiterate this one again. Have conversations about what you see out of your upcoming trip well ahead of that trip.

If you want to do all of the things and your partner is way more relaxed, you may need to do some of that dreaded compromising we just discussed. It’ll be OK, I promise. 

If things really go south, you may find that you’re better off traveling solo, and that’s fine, too. Some of the best couples don’t do all of their traveling together.

Be flexible.

Plan and plan some more to make sure you have the best trip ever, with the understanding that there will be situations where you’ll need to be a bit more flexible.

Something will go wrong, and this will be your time to shine because you prepared for this. You won’t throw a tantrum. You’re an adult. Blink back those tears that really don’t need to be flowing right now because you’re a go-with-the-flow kind of individual.

Show off how super-flex you can be. It may even be a turn-on for your partner, and all of a sudden you’ve found yourself an alternative activity. Oh, you didn’t know I’d be throwing some of my best romance tips at you? You’re welcome.

Pack the essentials.

Making sure you’ve packed all of the essential travel items will alleviate some stress and prevent arguments over dead cell phones and whatever else is on the kitchen counter.

This is particularly important on a road trip, even if you’re just sticking to the United States. Pack plenty of snacks and things that will keep you from getting sassy with one another.

READ MORE: Interested in treating your traveling friends to something nice? Check out these unique gifts for traveling couples.

Avoid triggers.

If you get super cranky when you’re sleepy make sure you hit the hay at a reasonable hour, even while on vacation. If spending the day at the beach makes you feel like tearing your hair out, don’t plan your first time traveling as a couple at an all-inclusive resort.

Know about the things that make you feel like a ticking time bomb, and try to avoid those situations at all costs.

The opposite is true, too. Brian can get hangry. I have snacks on hand at all times. It’s just good business sense.

Spend time apart.

Couples can and should travel separately. They should travel with friends instead of one another and they should travel solo…if that’s what they like.

We travel together as the default because we’ve got it down. We enjoy it and it makes our relationship better. That doesn’t have to be you, even if you’re already together on a trip.

Traveling as a couple doesn’t mean you have to spend every moment together. It may even spice things up if you both go your separate ways during the day only to reunite once the sun goes down. 

Spending time apart is especially fine if you have very different interests. I don’t golf. Brian loves it. Sending him out for a morning on the links — Is that a thing? What is a link? — allows me to do…anything else.

Go to bed angry.

When you’re traveling, emotions are amplified. Add in a cocktail or two and things can get real FAST. It’s fine, even a good idea, to go to bed angry.

More often than not, you’ll wake up with a cooler (and sober) head, and that fight the night before starts to sound pretty silly.

Keep in mind that this is for those once-in-a-while scenarios where you’re getting ticked off at one another because of something silly or inconsequential.

I’m not talking about the big stuff here. If you’re fighting before bed all the time, talk to someone.

Make your partner feel seen.

I may be the planner, but Brian is the navigator. He often does the bulk of the driving — we take turns on long road trips — while I try not to miss turns if I’m giving directions.

Even if you’re a Type A personality, make sure your partner has something to do on this grand adventure of yours.

It could even be fun if you release the reins a little bit.

If you’re feeling especially saucy and you’re the usual planner, let them plan a whole afternoon. See what develops. It could be a new thing for you two.

That bit about patience is true.

It’s a virtue, is what they say. 

It can feel challenging to practice patience when you’re feeling the effects of jet lag, tired from a 23,000-step day, or upset about an unexpected closure for a place on your list.

Keep things in perspective. Even if your partner is a little bit to blame for whatever you’re feeling, it’s important to keep things big picture. Do you really want to remember this trip as the time your partner got you two a little lost for a temporary period of time?

Yes, it may feel annoying at the moment. Annoyances are temporary. Travel memories are forever.

Keep things cute.

You’d be surprised by what a little wave in their direction can do for a person’s ego. Even if you’ve planned the most jam-packed trip ever, that doesn’t mean you can’t leave time for a little smooch here and a squeeze there.

Smoosh those faces together for a selfie at that vista. Throw a little flirt their way if things are getting tense inside that kayak. Take a minute or two here and there to be cute with your partner.

It’s a great way to make them feel special, especially if physical touch is their love language.

Understand comfort zones.

Don’t force your partner to do things they don’t feel like doing and vice versa. If I feel pressured to do something that just isn’t for me, I dig in even further. My stubbornness is my superpower.

It’s even worse if that thing has anything to do with your safety. You don’t want to be forced into doing something that makes you nervous. If you want this trip to be about pushing yourselves out of your comfort zone, that’s one thing.

It’s another thing to force your partner into a dangerous situation. That’s not cool.

Understand your partner’s boundaries and what it’d mean to cross them. Then don’t do it. Respect those boundaries.

READ MORE: We love traveling with friends, too. Check out our tips before your big friend trip!

Eat all of the things.

A trip together for us means that we’re eating all kinds of delicious things while we’re doing it. Eating is the universal language. It brings people together and is an excellent way to learn more about the destination you’re visiting.

It also shouldn’t be stressful, apart from deciding where you should eat that night.

Here’s a common scene at home:

Me: What do you want for dinner?

Brian: I don’t know. What do you want for dinner?

Me: Doesn’t matter.

Brian: Sushi?

Me: Nah.

Anyway, while we’re abroad I probably have a super long list of places to eat at, so this isn’t usually a problem.

Get over it.

If your partner did something annoying that messed with your day, it may be best to forgive and forget. I’m talking about minor slights that won’t be a big deal in the long-term, not anything earth-shattering that may require couples therapy on the other side.

If you’re the one who did the wounding, it may be time to get over your fear of the dreaded “I’m sorry” and apologize already. Admit that you were wrong, hug it out, and go eat something delicious. I find eating something with a bunch of cheese on it helps.

Laugh it off.

I’m big on humor in travel. Sometimes you have to laugh or you’ll cry, but many other times funny times happen while you’re traveling with your partner.

Laughing relieves tension and feels good. A hearty guffaw will make a silly situation even sillier and a dramatic situation less dramatic.

Embrace the absurdity of situations you find yourself in while traveling and things will all of a sudden feel so much breezier. Not everything has to be oh-so-serious.

Throw your honey a bone.

Brian loves anything related to space. He’s a super nerd when it comes to galactic anything, so if there’s a place to visit that will further enrich his knowledge of space, he’s going to request that we check it out.

My eyes may glaze over, but I may also learn something that I didn’t before…because I don’t have a similar interest in space.

If you know your honey will really enjoy something, let ’em have it. You don’t have to go with them, although it sure would be nice. Have your separate interests to grow as individuals, but keep a few things as learning opportunities as a couple, too.

Fun fact: Uranus has a moon named Miranda that has one of the most interesting geological surfaces of any moon in the solar system. I really just wanted to share something about Uranus because of my maturity level.

Have a Plan B.

If you’re planning on building a relationship around travel, there will be times when things don’t work out. There will be times when things go spectacularly wrong, and you’ll wonder why you went on this journey altogether.

That’s where Plan B comes in. 

Oh, you didn’t make an alternative plan for that big, multi-day excursion you had planned and assumed would go off without a hitch? Now you have to spend valuable vacay time figuring out what to do with yourselves.

That’s not fun in the best of circumstances. It’s even less fun when you’re both stressed out because you just encountered a travel fail.

Note: I’d be lying if I said we book travel insurance for every trip we take, especially when we’ve already booked refundable airfare or know our travel credit cards will come to our rescue should we need them to. If you want to make sure you’re covered for a big bucket list trip, by all means insure that trip. Just make sure current global events (e.g. pandemics and wildfires and mudslides) are covered.

Take time to take it all in.

Travel can be super hectic and stressful. We’ve been on the road full-time, and it can be difficult to balance work and life as a digital nomad, all the things we want to do at our destinations, and quality time together. 

I’m not saying an alligator tour isn’t quality time together. It sure is. It’s just a different quality time vs. the kind that involves intimacy, pillow talk, etc.

Long-term travel is an incredible way to grow as a couple. Short-term travel is a great way to learn about one another. Make sure that no matter where you land, you’re taking some time to think and reflect on what got you here and how lucky you are.

Traveling with your partner doesn’t have to feel hard.

I don’t want to say I wrote the book on couples’ travel, but I kinda wrote the book on couples’ travel. I gathered up all of our best missteps and mistakes and distilled them into a heartwarming volume of tips to avoid divorce while traveling. 

It’s all in good fun. I mean, there were some tears along the way, especially that time we found ourselves in a Norwegian ditch, but that only makes things more impressive. Check it out!