Top Reasons to Skip That Next Cruise

Large-scale cruises are on my list of pet peeves for a reason.

I’ve always been pretty aware of how irritated I am when a giant cruise liner comes into a port, unloading a herd of humans onto a town suffering from over-tourism as it is.

To me, the reasons not to go on a cruise always outnumbered any reasons to book one, the first of which is that I have terrible seasickness on vessels large and small.

When you really dive into why cruise ships are the worst, though, you really do find that it isn’t just one thing. It’s all the things.

Why do people book cruises?

Many people love the idea of a cruise as a budget-friendly vacation. The costs upfront may seem pretty good, considering your accommodations, food, and sometimes even a gratuity are included in your daily rate. 

Look at the fine print, though, and it may not be as budget-friendly as you think for the complete onboard experience.

Alcohol may cost extra, along with any excursions you may be interested in off the ship. Cruise lines are also notorious for deceptive marketing and advertising rates that don’t include a myriad of fees. It’s kind of like Airbnb in that sense, but on water.

Others may be swayed by nonstop access to food on a cruise ship.

If you know me, though, you know I love trying all of the local foods when I’m traveling. It’s a huge part of what I want to experience at a new destination, and it just feels good to support local tourism over a floating tax evader.

If I wanted a buffet, I’d just go to Vegas, and I don’t even like Vegas that much, either.

Why You Shouldn’t Go on a Cruise

Cruises are horrible for the environment, floating vessels of food-borne illnesses, and not as cheap as you think. I’m all about seeing the world, as long as you’re doing so with eyes wide open on your impact.

They spread illness more effectively than a daycare with chicken pox.

Things got markedly worse for cruise ships since the pandemic when cruise ships had to spend additional — sometimes indefinite— time out at sea. No one wanted those virus receptacles docking at their harbors for shore excursions.

Did you really need to wait for a pandemic to know that being on a cruise ship can quickly turn into a nightmare if just one person comes down with something, though?

The cruise ship industry can call it as rare as they like, and some cruisers say it’s unfair cruise ships are associated with gastrointestinal illness more than other types of travel.

I say none of that matters when someone comes down with norovirus on a vessel where you can’t help but be in close quarters. That brown sludge you see seeping through the bottom of your door is exactly what you think it is.

It’s one of those cruise ship dangers that sound funny when you’re on land but really aren’t funny on the water.

If you do get sick, there’s nowhere for you to go.

The bad things about cruises don’t end with a higher risk for certain illnesses. Imagine coming down with food poisoning while you’re on a cruise ship. You have no other options for food while you’re on that floating petri dish.

If you’re already packing saltines for your upcoming trip, just in case this happens to you, you’re living life wrong.

Seriously, it’s one thing to be prepared and another thing to assume you’re going to get sick on that vacation you’ve been saving for all year. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Is it mechanical failures your ship is experiencing? That’s even worse.

One of my favorite cruise ship horror stories is what happened on a Carnival Cruise ship in 2013.

Fun fact: The ship, the “Triumph,” was re-dubbed the “Poop Cruise” to better describe what was going on there.

The moniker refers to an unfortunate incident on a Carnival Cruise line where passengers were forced to wade through sewage after a series of mechanical failures.

A fire in the engine room led to a domino effect of problems on the ship. Passengers lost access to fresh water, air conditioning, elevators, and toilets, forcing them to use plastic bags to defecate in.

According to testimonials from passengers at the time, the hallways were flooded with human waste as a result.

If you weren’t sick before all that was happening, I’m sure you were by that point!

You aren’t seeing as much as you think.

Frequent cruisers like the idea of saying they were able to visit so many countries on their recent cruise, as the ship docks here and there and everywhere.

If you only have hours in a destination, though, passing by islands and mainlands from your window, what are you really seeing in that destination?

Imagine having to contend with a cruise ship full of people wherever you land. Did you think you were going to have a relaxing time enjoying the highlights at your stop?

Did you think the non-cruisers at that same destination would think you’re cool for doing what you’re doing, crowding every available food, shop, and attraction line?

Think again.

You’ll likely just have time to buy some overpriced souvenirs at nearby tourist traps to show your family back home that you “went” to the Cayman Islands.

The vast majority of your time is spent on the boat, binge eating all that food served to you by underpaid staff. More on that later.

Many destinations don’t want you there.

Over-tourism is a real problem in many destinations, and cruise ships only exacerbate the issue. Many of the places these ships are docking at can’t handle the influx of visitors a cruise ship brings to their shores.

Other tourists who want to experience say, Sydney’s harbor or Norway’s fjords without a giant cruise ship in their view don’t want you there, either.

Venice has become the poster child of the effect of cruise ships on the tourism industry. The Italian city has gone so far as to say large cruise liners are no longer allowed to dock in the historic center.

The ban came after an incident in June 2019. A ship collided with a dock and injured several people on shore.

All that means is that the ships are docking elsewhere.

Critics understandably say it’s not enough, and more needs to be done to address the effects created by cruise ships on the canals. That includes exacerbating flooding risk and messing with the aesthetics of Venice.

Seeing a giant cruise ship parked in the lagoon while locals and non-cruising tourists are just trying to enjoy some gelato is not a good look.

READ MORE: Venice is SO easy to visit without a cruise. Use my guide to help you plan!

They’re masters at tax avoidance.

Need more triggering reasons why cruises are bad? They’re floating tax avoiders.

The Carnival Cruise Line is headquartered in Florida. Its fleet flies the flags of Panama, the Bahamas, and Malta.

Royal Caribbean International, which is also headquartered in Florida, is registered in Liberia. Are you a fan of Norwegian Cruise Lines? They’re incorporated in Bermuda.

Why is that?

It’s strategic. Cruise lines pick and choose where to register and incorporate based on lax tax laws in those countries. I’m not saying other companies don’t do this. They absolutely do, and it’s wrong across the board.

When we float the idea of bailing out industries that don’t pay their fair share of taxes, I get a little miffed, to say the least. It’s not typically Liberia or Malta coming to the rescue when something goes wrong on that floating tax haven.

It’s more often than not the taxpayer-funded U.S. Coast Guard that saves the day.

Thankfully, the United States has been looking at this fact when considering stimulus money for travel-related entities, and if that sinks the industry, so be it.

Cruise ships treat their staff like garbage.

The countries these cruise ship lines register with also have different labor laws than the United States, another area the industry has been just fine taking advantage of.

Cruise lines love to hire crew members from countries in the Caribbean, the Philippines, and Eastern Europe.

All of those places are full of people faced with limited economic opportunities, so cruise lines hire them and treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve, right?

Wrong.

These hires take the worst jobs at the lowest pay and sign contracts that give them little job security and recourse if they complain.

If employees were ever to complain, those complaints would typically go through arbitration processes with the cruise line rather than lawsuits.

Remember those contracts? The fine print typically includes language prohibiting lawsuits.

Shifts for these workers are typically a minimum of 12 hours, and most employees work seven days a week. If you’re stuck on board for whatever reason, such as during a pandemic, for example, you may not be paid while waiting to get back home, either.

They wreck the environment.

The negative impacts of cruise tourism go beyond your creature comforts and the photobombing in city harbors. They’re bad for the environment, too, causing air and water pollution at “impressive” levels.

Thankfully, environmental watchdog groups have been taking a closer look at cruise ships and their effects on the environment, because it is a doozy.

Princess Cruise Lines Ltd., which operates under the Carnival Corporation, was hit with a $40 million fine in 2018. They were found to be deliberately dumping contaminated waste into the ocean via a “magic pipe” used by employees.

Their response was to attempt to cover up the illegal dumping before eventually pleading guilty, thus the fine.

That’s just a high-profile case. Cruises are terrible for the environment on a more innocuous level.

Fun fact: Cruise ships produce all kinds of waste, from 21,000 gallons of sewage per day to wastewater to oily bilge water, or the water that collects in the lowest part of the ship’s hull.

That water often contains contaminants. Cruise ships claim anything discharged into the ocean is filtered through a variety of processes, but I’ve already shared with you that that’s not always the case.

Don’t forget about air pollution.

A cruise ship uses the dirtiest fuel out there to take you on that trip out to the high seas. It’s high in sulfur and spews out into the air.

A European study published in 2019 showed that cruise ships polluted 10 times more than all of Europe’s cars combined in 2017, the year the authors were collecting data.

Note: That’s 260 million cars.

If you’re not convinced about the environmental effects, consider the effects on your body. The air that you’re breathing in on a cruise ship is worse than the air in some of the most polluted cities.

I’ve been to Beijing on a weekday and had trouble breathing in that city. You can smell the pollution there.

Studies show that in cities with very active ports, there is an increased likelihood of premature death from lung cancer and cardiovascular disease. This is alongside an increase in childhood asthma cases.

Despite the link to the health of their consumers, cruise ships have been slow to address these issues. Most of them receive failing grades for doing anything about air pollution.

Yes, air travel comes with its own problems. Cruise ships emit three to four times more carbon dioxide per passenger mile than a jet, though.

If you’re someone who cares about their carbon footprint, that footprint is three times what it would be on land while you’re on that cruise ship.

Crimes on cruise ships go underreported.

Cruises can be dangerous. People who go missing on a cruise often stay that way.

As a true crime junkie, I’m all about a good story, and there are plenty that involve the cruise industry. People go overboard, or they’re tossed overboard, or they just disappear, with the assumption that they’re out at sea somewhere.

More often, though, the crimes are less mysterious, and the dangers of cruises are more commonplace crimes. They’re sexual assaults.

Sexual assaults are already underreported and tough to prosecute on land. These kinds of crimes that happen on a cruise ship are even more challenging, as you don’t have access to immediate law enforcement.

Note: Who prosecutes those crimes when it’s unclear which country has jurisdiction, by the way? Is it Liberia, if that’s the flag the ship is flying? The outlook’s not good in that scenario.

Cruises are a want, not a need.

I guess there are people out there who want the convenience that comes with being told what to do and when, and having access to all of their meals, all in one place.

Do you really need all of that, though?

In my opinion, it’s a lazy way to travel, and there are better ways to see the world. I’d never go so far as to say cruises are for losers, but I do think the biggest fans don’t have all of the information.

Heck, if you really need that ease of travel, there are all-inclusive type vacations out there waiting for you at all kinds of resorts and budgets.

There are better ways to relax, too. If you’ve read all the way up to this point, what’s relaxing about all of the things that can go wrong on a cruise ship?

If you care about the environment, you shouldn’t be going on a cruise. If you care about people and the way they’re treated, you shouldn’t be going on a cruise. If you care about your own health, including bed bugs, you shouldn’t be taking a cruise vacation.

There are so many other, better ways to see the world. 

READ MORE: Is overrated travel a thing? Check out my thoughts on that topic while you’re at it.

You don’t need to go on a cruise to experience new places. 

Outside of Antarctica, which you won’t be flying to anytime soon, there aren’t any reasons that you’d need to get on a big vessel to get somewhere.

I still wouldn’t want to get on a giant ship for Antarctica, by the way, opting instead for a smaller ship that offers a more environmentally sound experience for all involved. (I’m aware of the environmental issues with travel to Antarctica at all, by the way.)

Most cruisers I’ve talked to admit they don’t get to spend much time in any one place. What’s fun about a frantic port stop where you have to decide on one thing to do over anything else?

How do you even decide on that one thing? The world is so big, and it seems like cruise lines try to make it seem smaller, which is silly.

You can probably tell you won’t be able to change my mind, but for those on the fence about booking that next Royal Caribbean cruise, perhaps I can change yours.

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