How to Convince Someone to Travel With You

Traveling with friends can be a lot of fun, especially if you’ve been able to land some good travel buddies that you click with and whose quirks you can stand while out on the road.

Sometimes those friends need a little coaxing to pull the trigger on travel, though.

I’m not talking about kidnapping your pals and taking them somewhere against their will, by the way. These are friends who generally like spending time with you, and vice versa.

Here are some tips on how to convince someone to travel with you and make that trip with your friends happen, even when faced with some resistance.

Start with wine.

You shouldn’t get your friends drunk and have them book travel while they’re under the influence. A little cocktail hour can sure loosen things up a bit, though, and get your potential travel pal at least thinking about how fun it’d be to travel with you.

This is especially useful when you’re more fun after a few drinks.

The trick is to then follow up on those plans the following day when the fog of that wine haze has lifted and everyone is thinking clearly. Hopefully, the excitement of potential travel hasn’t worn off, and it all still sounds like a great idea.

Fun fact: Coincidentally, post-happy hour is also when I think of the best dog names. Jesse Barksopolis, anyone?

Pull the YOLO card.

It doesn’t hurt to remind your friend that YOLO — you only live once. This is particularly powerful in uncertain times as you think about whether you should take that trip at all.

Life is short, so it’s important to use that time wisely and in a meaningful way.

What’s more meaningful than making memories in some exotic location with the people you love?

It’s even better if the trip you’re talking about comes with time limits. That can mean an annual beer festival, or, even more dramatically, concerns about whether you’d be able to return to that location years down the line.

For example, glaciers won’t be around forever, so we need to go to Glacier National Park NOW.

The coral reefs aren’t looking so hot, thanks to terrible humans and coral bleaching. We’d better go have ourselves that adventure in Australia NOW.

It’s already working on you, right? Pointing them to social media accounts highlighting those destinations can help, too, thanks to all of those filters that make these places look their best.

Be flexible.

If your friend can only travel during certain parts of the year, you may need to be open to travel at that time.

As a former teacher, I was limited to high-season travel for years. I was thankful for the time off, but I understood that I’d likely be paying high season prices compared to travel in months like April or October.

Any friends I traveled with understood that, too. Travel planning around school times made me more creative. I’d hunt for deals, watch for cheap flights, and target road trips with friends if things looked really dire.

Having that experience has also made me more flexible around our travel planning with friends now that I’m not stuck to that schedule.

We’re all leading busy lives here, and if it takes being super flexible to make a fun trip happen, I’m always willing to make that sacrifice.

Note: That’s unless you’re inviting me to some Wednesday afternoon wedding. I’m not doing that on principle.

Listen to your potential travel buddies, even if your friend makes demands about needing to pick up travel insurance for your trip downstate. Some people are just super risk-averse.

Choose a budget-friendly destination.

Two friends pose in front of a turtle rescue in Florida.

There’s no need to force your friends to tap into their kids’ college savings or sell one of their organs to pay for a holiday with you.

Travel is very much a privilege that not everyone can take advantage of, take the time off work for, or make financial sacrifices for.

There are ways to make it more budget-friendly and more likely that your frugal friends will go along with you and become your travel friends.

Tell your friend about the magical ways you find cheap airfare. Bribe them with rewards miles or points you may have collected along the way if you’re feeling like a giver.

Share what you’ve found about all of the best street eats at your chosen destination and all the ways you’ll indulge on the cheap and still have a fantastic time.

Show him or her the new travel bags you’ve acquired to transport booze in your luggage to save money on alcohol once you’re there.

You don’t even need to fly anywhere.

Take a road trip, a traditionally budget-friendly thing to do. Road trips with friends are good times, especially if you keep everyone fed. Hanger is real.

If all else fails, host a bikini car wash or something to raise funds for your trip and all of the essentials. That’s still a thing, right? Ideas are brewing.

Listen to their concerns.

Outside of budgetary issues, there are likely concerns that’ll come up when planning any kind of trip with your friend.

Maybe they don’t go anywhere without their fluffy friend. I have one of my own. While she is an anxious pup, she was pretty much a fixture on our nomadic travels, so that’s a consideration sometimes for trips with friends.

People can still be kind people and not necessarily want to travel with your dog.

They may change their mind once they see those boots with the fur, though.

Maybe your friend is a little sketched out about traveling to a place because of safety concerns. Even if those fears aren’t legitimate in your eyes, listen.

Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends, or so says the great Shirley MacLaine.

If they’re worried about human rights abuses on the part of your chosen destination, listen. If the place is so bad, though, why didn’t you know about that in the first place? Educate yourselves and go somewhere else.

Help your friend feel heard.

If you’re really far off on the trip and the chosen destination just isn’t ideal for anyone involved, consider choosing a different place to visit. Find the friendliest city in the world, like anywhere in Thailand or Ireland.

If you’re still having issues with the new pick, consider whether there’s something else going on that’s of concern to your friend.

Maybe they’re just not that into you. It’ll be OK.

Don’t force the issue.

Two women a small child on a boat ride in Paris

If your pal doesn’t eat meat, don’t tell them they’re crazy for not wanting to go on a tour of the best BBQ in Texas with you. Yes, the sides are delicious, but you likely have another travel bff who may appreciate that trip more.

Take them on some vegetarian yoga retreat, instead.

OK, I’m not doing that, but you know what I mean.

Don’t assume your friend is going to want to do something just because you think it sounds like a good time.

Don’t assume they’ll want to do something because you have some notion that any time with you is a great time.

As I’ve mentioned before, be flexible but be understanding with friends in your group. Take those blinders off and wrap your head around the fact that what sounds like a great time to you may not be someone else’s ideal.

Consider their interests.

Two friends hang out on a boat in Arizona.

You shouldn’t abandon everything you love about travel just to get your pal to agree to a trip with you. If there’s something that will bring your travel buddy great joy that isn’t offensive to your sensibilities, throw them a bone throughout your trip planning.

Say you have a friend who is a history buff or loves art. Highlight the possibility of museum stops at your chosen destination if that’s something you can handle.

Note: I’m not sure why you wouldn’t be able to handle a museum stop or two, but I’m trying to be understanding here. That sounds like a story for another day.

If your friend is an adventure-seeker and you’re willing to get out of your comfort zone a bit, think about how you can add some adrenaline-pumping activities to your trip.

You also don’t need to do every little thing with your travel buddy.

Say you love to hike but your friend is more of a homebody. Let them know that they don’t need to do everything you do.

I don’t ski, but love going on ski trips. If we’re with friends, my good times in a ski town involve tubing, snowshoeing — surprisingly difficult — and hot toddies.

I’ll even go if I’m left alone at the lodge.

That just means I can watch video clips of goats jumping on trampolines, catch up on my stories, and get through my beach reads. This can all be done in front of the fireplace I requested at the start of said trip.

Take a mini-trip and make it awesome.

Two women stand waving on a rock at a national park.

If you already have a history of good times with your pal, it’s easy to build on that potential for future travel. They know you’re generally a good time when you’re out.

Kick things off with a weekend trip or even a night away if you’re still working up to a trip with friends. Zero in on places not too far from home.

You don’t need to dive into the unknown right off the bat with a trip around the world.

Do your best to continue the streak of normal behavior so that you seem like exactly the kind of person who’d be the best travel buddy.

If you have some quirks that make you a little bit more difficult from time to time, consider trying to tone those down a bit. You’re trying to charm your friends, not scare them away.

“But Agnes, I want them to know the real me!”

Fine. Do you let it all hang out on a first date, friend?

No, you don’t.

Timing is everything.

A man eats several tiny ice cream cones at once.

If your friend is going through a rough time, read the room.

Are they looking for a mini-break somewhere or do they just want to hang out on the couch and enjoy a few pints of ice cream?

You can be the friend who addresses both of those, by the way, even if you’ve got that wanderlust bug. Sometimes you’ve got to sit around and eat ice cream for the sake of friendship.

Maybe your friend is already talking wistfully about traveling somewhere that they don’t think they could make happen. Help them make it happen. If it’s a budgetary concern, something I’ve already addressed, there are certainly ways to make a trip less expensive.

If it’s time constraints around planning that’s getting them down, take the lead on the planning.

Fun fact: If you’re traveling with me, by the way, that’s already happening, even though you may not know it.

Generally, you’ll be able to tell whether your friend is ready and willing to take a trip or not.

Don’t lay on the guilt.

If they say no and then say no after you try again later — I mean, giving it just one more go isn’t a bad thing — respect their wishes.

Again, don’t force the issue, and don’t make them feel bad for not being able to travel with you. Travel makes for some great memories, but only if everyone involved is into the trip in the first place.

Maybe they’re not sharing something with you at this moment. Maybe they just don’t want to travel with you. Perhaps they’re planning a big family trip and that’s all they can handle right now.

Don’t take things personally.

Not everything is about you, although sometimes it is. Either way, it’ll be OK, and an honest friend is the kind you want to have around. I hear solo travel is cool, too.

Shared travel is great when both parties are on board.

You shouldn’t need to work super hard to get a good friend to agree to a trip with you if they’re already a frequent traveler. Just express some enthusiasm over their next planned trip and talk about how fun it’d be to have a shared experience.

Traveling with your friends should only deepen your connection. Tell them it’s about creating lasting memories.

That said, if it’s a new relationship, this may be an issue you need to explore as far as your compatibility together. I know people who travel solo because their friends or even their partners can’t or won’t go with them. They know they’re better on their own, too.

It’s a passion for them, so they make it work. That may not work for you. You know yourself best!

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