Reflections After Two Years Abroad in France

We didn’t know how long we’d live abroad when we made a plan to move to France. First of all, moving wasn’t a given, as we needed visa approvals first. Once that happened, though, it wasn’t a question that it’d be something we did.

We took the approvals as a big sign from the universe that we were supposed to do this thing.

Two years later, we’re still here, with no immediate plans to move. The United States and my hometown of Chicago are in an increasingly volatile place, and returning seems silly, even a little dangerous.

France has then become our safe space for now, but it hasn’t come without its challenges. I’ll get into all of it, including what we’ve learned, what we haven’t, and more on why we’re staying put for now.

Two years abroad went by REALLY fast.

A woman poses outside of Notre Dame in Paris, France.

Even two years in, I feel like we haven’t scratched the surface of everything we have at our fingertips here.

We’ve certainly had some incredible experiences, like visiting every metropolitan region in France outside of Corsica and nailing $30 round-trip flights to Italy at a whim.

Fun fact: Brian may say we haven’t seen more of the continent because we keep going back to Italy, but I’m confused about why that’s a bad thing.

We have some incredible things planned for the coming year already, too, but it never feels like enough time. Europe alone is packed with so much to experience, but easy access to Africa from here complicates things further.

I want to see all the things, you see, and making it easier for me to see all of the things gives me some decision fatigue, for sure.

These aren’t real problems, by the way.

Living in France has changed us, for better or worse.

A couple poses at a Champagne bar in Paris, France.

I tend to do the “Well, in France” thing quite a bit when I’m back in the U.S., whether it’s talking about the easy access to tasty bread or how they prioritize a work/life balance.

Unfortunately, I do it at any destination, too. I could be somewhere where the public transportation isn’t as good or the water isn’t free with your meal, and I’ll immediately launch into the whole thing.

It is annoying, but I can’t stop.

My relationship with food is changing, slowly.

A couple eats baguette sandwiches in France.

People here have a healthier approach to food that touches every aspect of their day-to-day. Their lives are spent talking and thinking about food, but not in some overly indulgent way.

Food isn’t just fuel. It’s a way to come together, to disconnect from your devices, and enjoy what’s in front of you.

You don’t see people running to appointments chugging their protein shakes, and you certainly won’t catch French people trying to sell you on the latest diet fad.

That’s not to say that they never overdo it. French people eat fast food, consume too much at holidays, and drink too much wine from time to time. But they don’t obsess over it.

They’re not counting calories. They always leave room for dessert so that sugar isn’t some dirty word that you crave all day. They eat cheese. They eat butter. They eat bread.

BOY, DO THEY EAT BREAD.

They’re not running scams online to demonize entire food groups, and somehow, obesity rates are lower here than almost anywhere else in Europe. In between the treats and the dairy and the carbs, they’re eating whole foods and reasonable portions.

Eating is high-quality and highly intentional. As someone who didn’t grow up with the healthiest approach to food, I hope to carry this one with me back home.

Wherever we land, it’ll need to be walkable.

Walking is a natural part of daily life here. It’s a big reason why they can eat all the baguettes without blowing up like hamburger buns.

I’ve always known I’ve liked walkable communities. But living where we do in a town that’s walkable to everything we need (plus about a dozen boulangeries we don’t) has been sweet.

Easy access to miles of forest doesn’t suck either, especially when you have an anxious dog who is at her best when she’s chasing sticks with no one else around.

Walkability isn’t just about convenience. It’s part of how we live each day here, and it’s made me think about what we’ll want when we eventually return to the U.S.

Chicago is likely high on the list thanks to our friends and family there. Thankfully, there are plenty of neighborhoods in the city with easy access to public transit, groceries, and the like.

I’ll just need to leave the $1 baguettes behind.

I’m not jaded…yet.

A dog runs to its owner in a town in France, near a castle.

My favorite spot in town isn’t any one particular bakery or O’Tacos, the fast food that’s not tacos at all but holds a place in our hearts regardless. It’s riding the escalator up from the RER, the train that gets us into Paris, and seeing our château for the first time.

Whenever we have visitors in town, we like bringing them up to that exit because of that view, and it’s yet to become old.

It’s a showstopper on sunny days, in moody weather, and at night, when it’s all lit up. We live near a castle. Our dog poops near that castle.

My second favorite spot is our little farm. I’ve always “joked” — I put that in quotes because maybe I could pull it off someday — that I want to live on a farm with goats.

Living here means I can visit the town goats whenever I like and feed them scraps through the fence.

Note: Feeding the animals is a sanctioned activity. There’s a sign thanking the townsfolk for it.

It means I get my farm without having to get up with the sun to rake hay or whatever tf you do with a farm.

If we’re feeling super motivated, we can walk down the hill to the Seine and visit more goats and a friendly donkey. It’s pretty friggin’ whimsical.

It’s not all castles and sweet treats, though.

I mean, a lot of it is that, but some things make us feel an ache for home.

It’s hard being in a place where you don’t quite fit in. While we’re both working on the language thing, what you learn in online French classes tends to disappear from your brain when it’s time to engage with the real world. They talk really fast, you guys.

Fun fact: Our proudest moments tend to be getting locals to use French through a conversation, start to finish, without switching to English.

We miss our loved ones back home, especially friends who share our sense of humor. We don’t have shared histories with anyone here. It can be isolating.

We’re in this mental space where we’re here for the time being, but we’re not sure what’s next. That uncertainty makes it hard to go out there and forge connections, whether that’s a lack of motivation to do so or because we’re both introverts.

The result is disconnection. Some of that is on us, but some of it is just the nature of living abroad. We’re immigrants, but we work for ourselves, so there’s not that built-in community for us from having to adapt to survive.

For now, the good outweighs the bad.

A couple poses with heart hands at a restaurant in Paris, France.

We’ve traveled more living here than we ever had. It’s just too easy to book a cheap flight or pack up a car and bring the dog along to somewhere new. It’s too tempting NOT to take advantage of the ease of movement here.

Note: Our dog Kimmy is likely more well-traveled than most Americans, but she remains ungrateful.

We’re spoiled by the food and the approach to life. We’ve learned to live life with more intent. We’re lucky enough to have regular visitors who see our home with fresh eyes and perk us up when we’re in our feelings.

And yet, there’s still that zip of anxiety in the back of our minds about what we want our time here to look like.

Two years in, we’re still figuring out the next chapter.

For now, our residence cards have been approved for another year, which brings us to October 2026. Whether we’ll stay in our current town in France or move elsewhere in the country remains to be seen.

I know Brian would love somewhere warmer, for one, especially as we start the gloomy, gray season. I’ll get him some mulled wine soon to make up for it, I’m sure.

We’ve also toyed with the idea of moving to another country altogether, just to get a fresh experience. I’ve applied for my Polish citizenship, which should come through by the spring. That means an added layer to our existing ease of movement.

We’ve fallen into routines here, but sometimes it’s good to challenge yourself, right? That’s what they say?

You’ll just need to follow along to see what happens…

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