We’ve been lucky enough to travel to dozens of countries during our marriage, but our experiences still didn’t completely prepare us for living in another country full-time.
The Paris area was our goal, so we found a perfect locale based on several “what are the best cities near Paris?” searches on the world’s most utilized search engine.
A common city came up in various articles that seemed perfect for our family of three. (That’s us and our anxious pup, Kimmy Kibbler.) That was the royal city of Saint-Germain-en-Laye, 11 miles west of Paris.
Along the way during our time here, there have been quite a few lessons learned, some good, some surprising, and everything in between.
I’ll get into all of it, including a few stereotype-busting observations that you may not see until you’ve been in the country for a while.
The “rude” French person stereotype is mostly undeserved.
When I was in college, I visited a friend studying abroad in Austria who had nothing but terrible things to say about Paris and French people in general.
You’ve probably heard the stereotype. It goes something like, “I went to Paris, and everyone was so mean!”
Being naive at the time, I am ashamed that I myself held this stereotype until we visited the French Riviera a few years ago. Now that we’ve lived here, we can confidently say that this isn’t a well-deserved stereotype. (They’re way crankier in Austria, by the way.)
Despite the blank stares at my terrible French, the people here have been warm, welcoming, and mostly patient with us. That’s the opposite of what common wisdom and Emily in Paris tells you.
Here’s a tip to help you in this experience: Don’t go straight up to French people speaking English. Try a few French phrases, practice some humility, and you’ll see what we see every day.
To really get into their good graces, here are some tips:
The language is harder to learn than I thought.
French has a lot of rules. So many words sound the same to me, and people speak way too fast for my slow brain.
This is true even when they know you aren’t a fluent speaker. Maybe they’re messing with us.
Agnes was lucky to have had four years of high school French under her belt, as well as already being bilingual. Yours truly, however, coasted through the minimum three years of Spanish needed to get into a state school. Go Badgers?
I quickly learned that not only is the fellow Romance language not helpful for French, but it also made my pronunciation worse.
As pronunciation is more important for French than any other language I’ve tried, I have received many a blank stare when attempting to communicate with our neighbors.
The key is to keep on trying and maintain some humor about yourself, though. The French love it when you humble yourself.
French people have a love/hate relationship with the City of Lights.
We live in Saint-Germain-en-Laye, a suburb of Paris, so we have several former Parisians among us. So many of them love to bash Paris with “it’s so dirty,” “the people are so mean,” and “I’m so glad we don’t live there anymore.”
It would seem as if they really love to hate it.
When we tell them that even Parisians have not been rude to us, many raise their eyebrows. I guess the stereotype persists even here in France.
That said, the further you get from Paris, the nicer people do seem to get. Honestly, the further out you are, the more people willingly say they don’t like Paris.
Don’t let this dissuade you from coming. Paris is still awesome.
READ MORE: Paris is always worth visiting. Check out our guide for more about why!
Manners are a big deal, with some strange exceptions.
Being polite is a huge part of French culture. Saying “Bonjour” when you walk into an establishment and “Merci, au revoir” when you leave is expected.
Even though they have the right of way, pedestrians give a polite wave to cars, motorcycles, and bicycles when they are allowed through the crosswalk.
French people are also not shy to come up and ask you for directions or other questions. This is especially true if you are walking a dog. I’ve even had multiple people come up to me when I’m clearly working out with headphones on.
They know their cell phones have map apps, right?
On the downside, the French are not great at picking up after their dogs. This stereotype is true, and one of the bad things about living in France. It seems to be expected for the street cleaners to do this for you. Seriously, watch your step when you’re out here.
It’s OK to wear shorts here.
This stereotype also persists. I’ve even seen Natalie Portman talk about living in Paris and saying that everyone is wearing jeans. No offense to Padma, but TONS of French people wear shorts around here. It’s not just tourists.
We also see sweatpants, track pants, yoga pants, and all sorts of other casual wear that break the stereotype. Fashion is still pretty apparent, especially in Paris, but to say you can’t wear this or that is a little misguided.
Your loud English conversation is what most likely gives you away, friends. Not your attire.
Politics, religion, and work are not as taboo as we were led to believe.
Before coming here, we were under the impression that politics, religion, and work were taboo subjects in conversation. The idea that the French don’t discuss “these things” is another Emily in Paris stereotype.
Well, count another stereotype broken, as I’m so surprised at how many people have approached us with what we thought were taboo questions. That’s especially true when they find out we are here on a long-term visa.
READ MORE: You can move to France if you believe in yourself. Check out this guide!
I’ve heard so many opinions about Macron that I’ve lost count. We hear their views on immigrants, Islam, graffiti in Paris, trans issues, and religion in general. I also know nearly every job that our acquaintances do, as it will come up very quickly in conversation.
This was one of the most surprising revelations after we got here.
People cherish community and the outdoors.
The French are always out walking, either to their destination or just in the park for a stroll. We have a terrace overlooking Paris for 1.5 miles near our home, and every day we see people nearly along the whole stretch.
They seem to have gyms here, but they are so small I’d almost call them cute.
The French lack spatial awareness.
Walking through towns that were built before the car age makes a few things very apparent. First, these sidewalks are too darn narrow! Second, The French just don’t know how much space they take up, nor do they care.
My every-other-day jog resembles pedestrian frogger as I’m often nearly getting taken out by people who walk into or out of an establishment without paying any attention.
The French also only have two walking speeds: Slower than you ever imagined while walking 3-20 people wide or faster than you can jog a 5k.
There is no in-between.
Bread really is life here.
Our town has no less than 20 boulangeries, patisseries, and combined boulangerie-patisseries within a 1,000-foot radius of our apartment. Every day, we walk by dozens of neighbors who have anywhere between one to 14 baguettes in their hands.
This stereotype is confirmed.
Free bread is provided at nearly every restaurant, and I think it is against the law to not use it for sopping up the sauce on your plate at the end of the meal.
Fun fact: It’s rare that the butt-end of the baguette makes it all the way home after pick-up in one of these local boulangeries.
Despite all the dessert, butter, wine, and cheese, obesity is just not a thing here.
This one is provided without additional comment.
Eating well doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank.
In the United States, you have to break the bank for the pleasure of not having high fructose corn syrup and other terrible ingredients in your food. There is a reason Whole Foods is called “whole paycheck,” and don’t even get me started on places like Erewhon.
No, it is not cool to overspend on food.
Thankfully, good food here is actually affordable. In fact, it seems like the bad food is more expensive. Europe also bans certain ingredients that for some reason we still allow in the U.S.
I joked about the number of bakeries above, but we also have plentiful grocery stores, fresh food markets, and a thrice-weekly farmers market with the best options available.
Smoking is still pretty common for all ages.
We still find ourselves annoyed several times per day by someone’s cigarette exhaust. Eating al fresco can also sometimes be challenging due to this.
The one positive I’ll say is that it seems like vaping is taking over, and secondhand vape smoke is so much more pleasant. (The fumes smell like candy or sugary cereals.)
They don’t seem to chain smoke like in the U.S., either, but overall it is much more common to see someone smoking here.
French desserts are undefeated.
Forget macarons and crème brûlée, have you ever had a crookie? How about a beignet with so much filling you can add a piece of bread for the extra?
Note: A crookie is a combination of cookie dough and a croissant. Speaking of croissants, our market also has a crème brûlée croissant that is Agnes’ favorite thing in town. C’est magnifique!
There’s, of course, pain au chocolat, pain au raisin, chouquettes, and seemingly 8,000 ways to incorporate pistachio. There’s no way we can try all of them even after another year, but we’ll give it our best shot.
There are so many types of cheese here, too, in case you prefer a cheese plate for dessert.
Free water is not some white whale.
Have these people even tried to ask for water? Every restaurant here offers a carafe of water if you ask for it. It is free. Drinking water fountains are also plentiful all around our town, in Paris, and the rest of France.
Fun fact: Paris even has sparkling water fountains if you’re feeling like something fizzy.
Maybe they are just doing it for attention, but these reels on social media about dying of thirst in France are super annoying.
Say it with us: “Une carafe d’eau, s’il vous plait.”
A taco in France is not what you’d expect.
Imagine a burrito, then smash it down like a panini. Et voilà, you have yourself a French taco! Yes, they know it is not what we call a taco. We’ve asked them about this and they’ve confirmed in a very disaffected manner.
If you’re curious anyway, find an O’Tacos wherever you are and have at it. I’ve had it more times than I can count at this point, so there’s no shame in it.
Note: We HAVE found actual tacos in Paris, but they’re definitely not as cheap as Mexican street tacos back home. Still, they were pretty legit.
The bureaucratic struggle is real.
The message I received when applying to exchange a U.S. driver’s license for a French one said as follows: “Please note that processing times are currently six to eight months.”
Wut?
Our residence permits weren’t issued on time, either. We were approved for our visa renewal a full three months before it expired, but the physical cards weren’t issued until a few weeks after our expiration date.
The line at our prefecture made me yearn for the DMV back home, and I’d never thought I’d say that in my life.
Navigating the bureaucracy in France is also harder than it needs to be. They have a different official website for seemingly every task, and I think they do this on purpose.
Fear not, my friends. There are plenty of websites, blogs, Facebook groups, and other resources if you are moderately adept at Google.
Driving is more challenging, and you definitely don’t want to speed.
As I mentioned about city planning pre-cars, the roads are also narrow, pedestrians come out of nowhere, and traffic lights just aren’t where I’m used to seeing them.
Why are they so small and on the side of the road where I have to strain to see them??
The roads have speed limit cameras everywhere, especially at the bottom of hills or right at the change of a speed limit. Go just six kilometers over the speed limit, and a nice shiny picture will be taken of you, along with a nice shiny fine sent in the mail.
Knowing how to drive a manual is very much recommended. Thankfully, I have several years of experience with this, but Agnes has become a passenger princess.
That all said, we don’t regret our decision.
France has been a wonderful experience for both of us, and we are so glad to be here for as long as they’ll have us. The culture, the food, the wine, the people, the cities, the palaces, the history, and everything else have all been worth it so far.
It’s also fun to hear friends and family comment about how we live in a fairytale. That doesn’t suck.
We’d both 10/10 recommend it if you have the opportunity.
Interested in more content about France? Here you go:
- Visiting the Cliffs of Étretat on a France Trip
- A Guide to Nice, Even on Rainy Days
- How to Spend a Day at the Strasbourg Markets
- A Holiday Guide to Christmas in Colmar
- A Golfer’s Guide to Le Golf National
More content from destinations in France
- A Guide to Visiting Évian-les-Bains
- How to Plan a Day in Monaco From Nice
- A Guide to Charming Antibes, France
- How to Spend the Day in Cannes, France
- Spend a Day in Charming Montpellier
Want to see more?
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